I think I'm cured.

Okay, so I don't actually think that I am cured, but I do think that my Pancreas is up to some funny stuff lately.

The Diabetes Roller Coaster has been in full swing. I go from moments of perfect/almost too low, to untouchable high bloodsugars. We are talking about hanging out in the 65/70 range for two days, and then shooting up to the high 300's for a day.

I was scared last night, and it really hit me, more than normal, about this disease I live with everyday.

I decided to check my bloodsugar as I was getting ready for bed, and realized it was 50. So I drank a juice box. A little later, I gave myself my normal amount of Lantus (25 units). I was really ready to go to bed, so I decided to check that blood sugar before I went up to brush my teeth (I live in the basement currently). My bloodsugar was only at 67, a good hour plus from when I treated my low. So I had 15 more carbs, and waited 15 more minutes. I felt just fine, and proud of myself for following the 15/15 rule. So I checked again, and my blood sugar was a beautiful 57. 57?!!! I was so angry. I went down from before, so I ate two fruit snacks and sat in my bed fuming. Thankfully I had a book (Good Ol'e  Harry Potter!). Fifteen minutes later I checked again, and I was 69. The thing is, i Still felt perfectly normal, and didn't recognize the lows I was having all night at all. I lost track of time while reading, and decided to go brush my teeth. Before putting my book away for good, my final bedtime number was 134. My goal is to be above 120 before I fall asleep. I was so sure though that I was going to by SKY HIGH by this morning at breakfast.

I woke up to a lovely 137. I pretty much did the happy dance. Something finally went right. Lets hope it stays that way for a while.

What really worried me was that, if I hadn't decided to check myself before falling asleep (sometimes it happens), would I have woken up this morning at all? I had to eat 90 carbs last night to cover the stubborn low blood sugar. 90 is about the same amount I eat for lunch and breakfast combined.

Diabetes is a scary thing. I thank the Lord that I had the smarts to check myself before bed, and that I have the means and resources to treat such a low blood sugar, and a good book to distract myself with.

Children

Children. That's suchba descriptive title that could mean so many things...

Well this post is about the two beautiful girls who I am currently living with. 

When I was little, I had this "plan." It included, mostly, becoming a teacher and having my own family. Well that "plan" has changed drastically. I am not a teacher, and although I am not single, I have no immediate plans to start a family. 

That being said, I feel I don't have time in my plans to actually be able to do that part of the "plan."

But I'm getting a great dose of what that might look like in the future. I can confidently say though, I'm getting the best form of birth control there is. 

Now this is all fine and dandy, talking about kids, but what does it have to do with diabetes?! Well I'm getting there.

When I first moved into my cousins house where she lives with her 2.5 children and husband, I just passed off my diabetes care. It got put into the back burner. There was so much stuff all happening at once that diabetes and my management of it, unfortunately, had a little set back. I didn't want the 4 and 2 year old to see me do my diabetic care routine, so I hid that part of me away...that is until a perfectly times conference (the students with diabetes one) came into hand and reminded me to not be ashamed, and to take myself for now and the future. 

That being said, I've started to check my blood sugar and insulin no matter who is watching. Well little did I know that the two little "buzzereds" as I call them, would be completely intrigued. Every meal time, they ask me, can we watch you do that finger thing, and the pokey thing? At first I explained to them why I'm doing what I'm doing, and although they don't completely understand, they know it's medicine I have to have everytime I eat a meal. I try to keep them involved by asking them to guess my number, and then to read it off. Yes this also forces my number to be read out loud for anyone else to hear. This and their constant viligence in making sure I test is bringing me out of the diabetes slump I was in. 

So my fear about trying to explain what I'm doing wasn't needed. I can also see that oldest child becoming a doctor someday even. It's her favorite game to play. She's also very demanding that I check myself! 

However great having these children around is, it's not all rainbows and sunshine. We won't go into the screaming, crying, or butt wiping, but I will say that diabetes does get in the way. Last night, I was going to go push them on the swings before dinner, before I walk out the door and head to swings where the two girls were not very patiently waiting for me to help them on and push them, I decided to take a check. I didn't feel 100% I thought maybe I was about 70 or something. What I saw on my meter made my heart drop. It read 37! So before the kids would ask why I had fruit snack before dinner and they didn't, I shoved the whole thing in my mouth. Good thing my cousin was around because the look on my face after I read the number told her that there would be no swinging then, and that we should eat supper first. I'm thankful she was around and could handle the very pouty children as they were forced to come back inside.its situations like this that I wonder if I could ever have children without a constant feer or worry that I can't take care of myself first when needed. 

Children of my own is something pretty far down in my future. For now, I'll stick being the favorite cousin, who gets to play all day and doesn't have to do bath time! 

Remember when...

If you're an avid follow of my life on the blogging sphere, you should recall my blog from last summer, revolving around my life and internship in NYC. As of yesterday, three of my diabuddies had their first day of their internship with JDRF in NYC, and I can honestly say I am extremely jealous of them. 

My summer internship last year was memories I will never forget, and I know this years SWD interns are going to be amazing. From their blogs that they are writing, I've already seen the passion and love for their opportunity showing through. Again, I can't say I'm not jealous of them right now, because I am, and reading about their experiences makes me miss the big city even more. But it also renews the fire within me to get myself into a job in the Diabetes Field. 

Speaking of which, I am looking into the options. I am in contact with the Young Leadership Committee for Detroit, to see how I can help out. I am also looking at some master programs in varying aspects such as health communication. 

I forgot how exciting it is to try and figure out life and the future. Yes it is scary, but I know there is a plan, and I know I have a purpose. It just might take a long road trip to get there! 

Tweets from the weekend! #SWD2014 on that social media

So over the weekend, myself (@marshaweiss03), Jeremy (@rockyjrs), Jenni (@JayZelll & @T1Diabetes101), and Zach (@darthskeptic) along with a few others, we're blowing up the #SWD2014 hashtag on twitter and all those other social media sites. 

Here are some of the highlights of our conversation on twitter. 

#enjoy!

 

You can follow the whole conversation by looking up the hashtag #SWD2014 on Facebook, twitter, and Instagram! 

#SWD2014 part 2

So the rest of my Students With Diabetes Conference Experience was right up there with top diabetes experiences I've ever had. 

(Diabetics were everywhere!)

On Saturday I made sure to get some exercise in with Zumba! This conference reminded me that I need to get back into taking care of other aspects of my health, not just diabetes. I need to get out and move more!  (More on that later!) 

(Gotta use those awesome Level products for those lows!)

The day started out with a few sessions which reminded me that we have been given this disease, and it's how we choose to see it that matters. So we can laugh or not, choose to take a vacation from it, ignore it, or embrace it! Diabetes is a part of me, it is engrained into my system. It is a part of me that makes me different, unique, and gives me motivation for life. 

(The bionic pancreas!) 

Someday though, a cure may be upon us, and as we heard...the bionic pancreas might be released to the public in 39months! We saw the technology, heard first hand how how it changed peoples lives for 5 days, and in ready to embrace this new technology. I might have a semi-positive diabetes outlook most of te time, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't jump upon the chance to use this new technology as soon as I can. Everyone goes through the diabetes burnout, myself totally included. 

(A1C was 7.2!) 

The day ended with some Chinese food, Chinese food insulin dosage guessing, a walk on the beach, and lastly a luau by the pool.! 

(After Chinese food at P.F Changs!)

(On the beach with some of this years upcoming JDRF interns in NYC!)

(Loving the beach weather!)

(At the luau with The beautiful and inspiring Nicole Johnson!) 

(With Nicole Johnson before we say goodbye!) 

(Paige and I!)

(The most awesome quidditch player ever Jeremy!) 

(These girls are going to rock it in NYC this summer! I wish them all the luck with JDRF! Jenni, Me, Amy, and Hannah!)

(Chilling on the beach!)

(Jenni and I!)

(Luau party!)

Whenever I feel down because of my diabetes, I have to remember that I am not alone. 

SWD 2014

There is just something about attending a diabetes conference that makes me get back into writing for the sake of writing, and just taking better care of myself overall. 

So, I don't even want to look when the last blog posting of mine was, it was a lonnng time ago I'm sure. 

But here is another one!

I'm back in Tampa, at the Students with Diabrtes National Conference! I am excited to be here again this year! I've met a lot of great people already, and I've checked my blood sugar more today than I probably have this entire week. Which is good, getting me back on track with taking care of myself! 

Today we had dinner, some fun diabetes skits we put together, and besides the little major hiccup of losing my wallet at the airport (no worries now because it has been returned to me!) it has been a great diabetes night ending with some dancing and tired feet! 

Before and after dancing, water, and a touch of insulin!

Jim Turner is one great diabetic who I am glad I got to hear talk tonight about his life experiences with diabetes! 

Signing off until tomorrow. I know I always say this, but I really want to get back into this blog writing! 😄

It's been awhile

One of the things I wish I could do was keep up my blog posts. 

I've always enjoyed writing down my thoughts, ideas, opinions, hopes, dreams, and stories, one can just open one of the half a million diaries and journals I own. 

So maybe I will start to write more, maybe I'll do less Candy Crush, less Pet Society, maybe even less pintrest, and more writing. Maybe I need more to write about, but then I think, look around me, and realize I have lots to write about, I just haven't done it yet, and I need to. 

Living with diabetes (since that is the title of the blog, therefore I must mention it), I not only am faced with the normal life day to day struggles, like what I'm going to wear today, where should I search for a job, and what homework needs to be done, but on top that, it's the do I need pockets to store supplies if I go out today, what kind of job will I be able to get insurance to cover supplies, and the to do homework with a 400 blood glucose or a 40. 

Life.

Choices.

I just have to take one step at a time, and maybe start to write it down. 

So I end this long and overdue post.

May the insulin, the blood sugar, and life be with you. 

Until next time.